Clement of Alexandria · a new plain-English translation from the original language
Let mockery be far, far from us, since it is the beginning of insolence, out of which strifes and battles and enmities swell up. And we said that insolence attends drunkenness as its servant. One is judged, not merely by deeds, but by words too. "At a banquet," it says, "do not reprove your neighbor, and do not speak a word of reproach to him." For even if it is especially enjoined to keep company with the holy, to mock a holy man is a sin; for Scripture says, "out of the mouth of fools comes a rod of insolence," calling the rod a support of insolence, on which insolence leans and rests. Hence I admire the apostle here too exhorting us not to let loose either coarse jesting or words that are unfitting. For if the gatherings at feasts are for the sake of love, and the end of a banquet is kindly feeling toward those present, and eating and drinking are things that accompany love, how are we not to conduct ourselves rationally? Nor should we be at a loss because of love; for if we come together as intensifying our goodwill toward one another, how do we stir up enmities by mockery? Silence serves better than meeting sin with a foolish reply. Truly happy "is he who has not stumbled with his mouth and has not been wounded by the pain of sin," whether he repented for the things he said and sinned in, or having spoken in such a way as to grieve no one. In general, then, let young men and young women for the most part abstain from such feastings, so that they may not stumble in matters unbecoming to them; for unfamiliar things heard and unseemly things seen fan the mind into flame while faith is still surging within them, and the instability of their age works together with them toward the easy overthrow of desire; and sometimes they even become the cause of others' stumbling, by displaying the perilous charm of their youth. For wisdom seems to give good counsel: "Do not sit at all with a married woman, and do not recline together with her on the same couch." This means: do not dine with her too often, nor eat with her. Wherefore it also adds: "Nor make contributions with her over wine, lest your heart incline toward her, and by your blood you slip into destruction"; for the freedom that comes with wine is slippery and can flower into wantonness; and it called her married, since the danger is greater for one who attempts to loosen the bond of a marriage. But if some necessity should arise commanding a woman to be present, let such women be covered very much on the outside with a wrap, and within with modesty; and as for those who are unmarried, nothing brings greater shame upon them than showing up where men are gathered to dine, especially while those men are taking wine. As for the men, let their gaze stay fixed on the couch before them, motionless, leaning on an elbow, contributing nothing but attentive ears; and if they should also be seated, let them not cross their feet one over the other, nor lay one thigh upon the other, nor prop the chin upon the hand; for it is ignoble not to bear oneself properly, and this is a charge against the young. And to keep continually shifting and changing one's posture is a sign of frivolity. It belongs at once to a self-controlled man, in drinking and in eating, to choose the lesser portion and the more leisurely pace, not the more headlong one, both at the outset and in the intervals, and also to stop early and to be free from eager desire. "Eat," it says, "as befits a human being from what lies before you; stop before others do, as good manners require, and if you are seated among a crowd, do not reach out your hand ahead of them." One must not, therefore, leap forward, persuaded by gluttony, nor indeed linger on, reaching out for a long time, thereby confessing one's lack of self-control by lagging behind; nor must one appear, in between, to be fastened upon the food like the beasts upon their prey, nor to partake of too much of the delicacies; for man is by nature not a lover of delicacies but a bread-eater. It belongs to a self-controlled man to rise up before the many and to withdraw from the banquet decently; for it says, "at the hour of rising do not linger behind as the rearguard, but hasten off to your own house." And the Twelve, once they had gathered the whole body of disciples together, declared: "It would not be right for us to set aside God's word in order to wait on tables." If indeed they were on guard against this, much more did they flee gluttony. And those same apostles, in their letter to "the brethren in Antioch and throughout Syria and Cilicia," wrote: "The Holy Spirit and we ourselves have resolved to place on you no additional weight beyond these essentials: keep away from meat offered to idols, from blood, from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality; if you steer clear of these you will fare well." One must guard against drunken excesses just as against hemlock; for both drag one down into death. "One must also be kept from excessive laughter and from tears" beyond measure; for often those who have drunk wine, having burst into laughter for a very long time, are then somehow led on, persuaded by some drunken impulse, into tears; for both to be made effeminate and to run into insolence are out of tune with reason. Let elders, looking upon the young as their own children, only very rarely, and perhaps somewhere, play with them, teasing them in that respect which will train their good bearing. For instance, one can jest pleasantly with the bashful and silent youth in some such way: "But my son — I mean that silent one there — never stops talking." For such teasing intensifies the young man's modesty, showing pleasantly the good qualities that belong to him, through the accusation of faults which do not belong to him; for this too is an instructive device, confirming what is present through what is not present. Similarly, it is such a judgment when someone says of the water-drinker and self-controlled man that he is behaving drunkenly and getting intoxicated. But if there should be some who are fond of mockery, we must keep silent and let pass their superfluous words, as one would pass by cups already filled up; for such play is perilous: "the mouth of the reckless draws near to ruin"; "you shall not accept an idle report, nor shall you agree with the unjust to become an unjust witness," neither in slanders nor in blasphemies, nor indeed in acts of malice. Now it seems to me that a measure should be set upon the voice even of self-controlled men, those, that is, to whom it is permitted to speak in reply. For silence is the virtue of women, but for the young it is a safe distinction, while good speech belongs to an age that has been tested. "Speak, elder, at the banquet; for it is fitting for you; but speak without hindrance and with precise knowledge. Young man," wisdom permits you too, "speak, if there is need of you, only when questioned twice; sum up your speech briefly." Let both of those conversing measure their utterance by due proportion; for loudness of voice is most akin to madness, and to speak inaudibly to those nearby belongs to one lacking sense, for they will not hear. The one is a mark of ignobility, the other of self-will. Let also the love of contention for the sake of an empty victory in words be far from us, since our end is freedom from disturbance, and this indeed is the meaning of "peace to you"; "before you have heard, do not answer a word." But the broken, affected voice belongs to an effeminate man, whereas to a self-controlled man belongs a voice measured in its magnitude and length and speed and volume, restraining his own utterance. For one must never speak at length, nor talk too much, nor babble idly, nor converse in a rushed and hurried manner. For to the voice itself, so to speak, justice must be given a share, and those who shout out of season and the bawlers must be silenced. It was for this reason that self-controlled Odysseus disfigured Thersites with blows, because he alone, immoderate of speech, chattered on, "who knew in his mind many disorderly words, idle ones, and not according to order." "Terrible in his own destruction is the man of much tongue." Of babblers, then, just as of old shoes, the other parts have been worn out by wickedness, and only the tongue remains, to do harm. For this reason wisdom, most usefully for life, exhorts "not to babble in the assembly of elders," cutting off our idle talk from above, beginning from God, laying down moderation as a law in some such way: "do not repeat your word in your prayer." Clickings of the tongue and hisses and finger-snappings that summon the household servants are irrational signals, and must be avoided by rational human beings; one must also refrain from spitting continually and from clearing the throat too violently. Nor must one blow the nose while drinking; for one must in some way take account of one's fellow diners, lest they turn away from nausea at such unseemliness, which is an accusation of intemperance; for it is not the same for men as for oxen and asses, to have the manger and the dung-heap together; and yet many blow their noses and spit at the very same time that they are also dining. But if a sneeze should come upon someone, as indeed also a belch, there will be no need to deafen those nearby with the noise, thereby testifying against their own lack of breeding; rather the belch must be let pass quietly, together with the exhaled breath, the mouth being shaped decorously, and not drawn wide open and gaping like the masks of tragic actors. The disturbing force of a sneeze must be removed by gently holding back one's breathing; for in this way, most decorously, one must extinguish the sudden onset of breath, managing its passage so as to try even to escape notice, if the air, forcing its way out, should also bring something superfluous along with it. It is a mark of arrogance and disorder to wish to add to such noises rather than to suppress them. Those who pick at their teeth till they draw blood from their gums are unpleasant to themselves and hateful to those nearby. Indeed, ticklings of the ears and irritations that provoke sneezing are swinish forms of itching, and are practice-grounds for unrestrained fornication. And unseemly things that meet the eye must be avoided, as must shameful talk about them. Let one's gaze also be composed, and the turning of the neck and its movement steady, and the bearing of the hands in conversation likewise. For in general the Christian is at home with calm and quiet and stillness and peace.
← All of Clement of Alexandria: Exhortation, Instructor & Miscellanies