Marcus Aurelius · a new plain-English translation from the original language
First, what relation do I have to them, and that we were born for one another; and, seen another way, that I was born to stand over them, as a ram stands over its flock or a bull over its herd. Go further back still, from this: if the world is not a mere scattering of atoms, then it is nature that governs the whole; and if that is so, the lesser things exist for the sake of the better, and these for the sake of one another. Second, what kind of people they are at table, in bed, and so on — and above all, under what compulsions of belief they act, and with what conceit they do even these very things. Third, that if they act rightly in this, there is no cause for irritation; and if not rightly, then clearly they do it unwillingly and in ignorance. For every soul is deprived unwillingly, both of the truth and of the ability to treat each person as he deserves. That is why men resent being called unjust, ungrateful, greedy — in short, wrongdoers toward their neighbors. Fourth, that you yourself commit many faults, and are the same sort of person as they are; and even if you abstain from certain faults, you still have the disposition that would produce them, even if cowardice, concern for reputation, or some other such fault keeps you from the like offenses. Fifth, that you have not even grasped for certain that they are at fault; for many things happen as part of a larger design, and one must learn a great deal before pronouncing with any certainty on another's action.
Sixth, that when you are especially indignant or impatient, remember that human life lasts only a moment, and soon all of us will be laid out flat. Seventh, that it is not their actions that disturb us — those belong to their own ruling faculties — but our own judgments about them. Cast off, then, and be willing to let go of the judgment that treats it as some terrible thing, and your anger is gone. How will you cast it off? By reasoning that there is nothing shameful in it; for if shame is not the only evil, then you too are bound to commit many faults, to become a thief, and anything else besides. Eighth, how much harsher are the effects of the anger and grief we feel over such things than the things themselves that provoke our anger and grief. Ninth, that goodwill is unconquerable, provided it is genuine and not a smirk or a pretense. For what will the most insolent man do to you if you go on being good-natured toward him, and, if the occasion allows, gently advise him and calmly set him right at the very moment he is trying to do you harm — 'No, child; we were made for something else. I will certainly not be harmed, but you are harming yourself, child.' And show him neatly and thoroughly that this is so, that not even bees do this, nor any creature built by nature to live in community.
But this must be done without irony and without reproach, but with affection and without any bitterness in the soul, and not as if in a lecture hall, nor so that some bystander will admire you, but either to him alone, even if others happen to be standing about. Remember these nine points as gifts received from the Muses, and begin at last, while you still live, to be a human being. But you must guard equally, alongside anger at them, against flattering them; for both are unsociable and lead to harm. Keep close at hand, in moments of anger, that raging is not manly, but that the gentle and mild is more human, and for that very reason more truly manly as well — it is this that has a share in strength and sinew and courage, not the man who is indignant and discontented. For the closer a thing is to freedom from passion, the closer it is to strength. Just as grief belongs to weakness, so does anger; both have been wounded and have given way. And, if you wish, take a tenth gift as well, from the leader of the Muses: that to expect the wicked not to do wrong is madness, for that is to wish for the impossible. But to allow that they be such toward others, and yet demand that they not wrong you, is unreasonable and tyrannical.